I went for a check-up recently because I was actually worried about the state of my health. I was worried because it felt as though I was having tendencies of hypertension.
Trust me, hypertension comes in various ways these days, guaranteed by Nigerian networks. You can’t be using MTN and be envisaging long life, honestly you’re on your way to your early grave fully sponsored by MTN, (at least they promised ‘everywhere you go’).
You start using MTN network and you got yourself a new companion, who can guess who/what it is? Well, it’s frustration, you walk around with frustration holding on dear to your soul.
The frustration comes with using MTN network hence everywhere you go, But the good part is you can use MTN to plot your guileful plans and people won’t disbelieve you, thanks to the terrible network.
Now, Airtel, say something commendable about airtel and be ready to ride to heaven or hell for blasphemy, one thing i know for sure is airtel makes MTN seem like the angel.
I’m almost certain Airtel is of the devil considering the red colour of the network that signifies the devil (and this is no folklore), and we all know there’s no good news wherever the devil is, and then to the browsing aspect, should you be wondering what unadulterated frustration is.
Try using airtel to browse for just a week and you can check online or contact me for a suitable suicide note that is if you last a week even before you take your own life.
I would talk about Glo but their network is astonishing and almost without blemish except the word ‘freebies’ doesn’t exist in their dictionary.
Etisalat appears to be the best and most perfect as one can almost substitute ‘etisalat’ with ‘freebies’, suffocating their customers with free megabytes and all, but yes, you make just one call with etisalat and you’re presented with an amount close or equal to Nigeria’s national budget, you can almost pay the country’s debts with the amount etisalat bills you after every call.
One day, we’ll get the perfect network and also, that day, snow will fall in Nigeria.