You step outta your house and then you remember you forgot to put some sauce on you cause with the immense effect of Lagos sun on you, you end up looking like KFC chicken.
Yesterday I had a meeting with a vampire, a prominent one at that, and then although he had daylight rings all over his fingers and toes, there he was sitting in form of a heap of ashes, erm you said? No no it’s not Charlie boy, I swear it.
You know I’m wondering, perturbed by the great intensity of this sun, if Hell is what it is portrayed as in the bible and Qur’an, then fuck it I’m doing things the God way, whatttt? which of you inserted fuck in my statement? Smh the devil think he sleek. Okay okay, that settled, so now I’ve resorted to wearing shades, and then it stuns me that my shades have absorbed so much sunlight rays, all i need is to dress like Cyclops in marvel comics, Oh shit this is real life here.
I’ve been quite an obedient child and I take advice a lot from my dad (God bless him, he’s as wise as he’s bald, I don’t make the rules), he once said ‘Make hay while the sun shines’ and so I travelled round the world and gathered an enormous quantity of hay, surprisingly I arrived in Lagos and all the hay got ignited and was burned to ground by this belligerent sun.
This is an utterly serious case, you make a petty mistake and put on black, step out into Lagos sun and you’re automatically a mobile furnace. This shit so scary, I’m just here relapsed in one corner of my room waiting for apocalypse to knock on my doo……ohhh? I must think apocalypse is a Yoruba man that holds reverence unnecessarily, knock? Lol lol, not throwing shades at the Yorubas. Shade?
Well that’s a nice Yoruba name, should make up for the misconception. Mann look who’s derailing off the main topic like Tonto dikeh does in music. Oh oh I’m just saying Lagos sun is so much terrible.
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